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Survival Guide: Christmas Day 2013

By DavidBol  |  Posted: December 24, 2013


Merry Christmas

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CHRISTMAS Day is loved by everyone – but it can prove to be a stressful day.

Whether it's Christmas dinner or having control of the television remote - make sure you have a stress-free festive period.

Here at Blackmore Vale Media, we want to wish all our readers and customers and Merry Christmas and wish everything the best for 2014.

Take a look at our survival guide, showing you how to cook that Christmas roast, the best of Christmas television and much more.

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How to cook the perfect Christmas Dinner

Here’s five Christmas Day TV programmes worth a watch on Christmas Day.

1) Doctor Who (BBC1, 7:30pm)

2) Downton Abbey Christmas Special (ITV1, 8:30pm)

3) Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty (BBC2, 6:10pm)

4) Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special (BBC1, 5pm)

5) Bear’s Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry (Channel 4, 8:30pm)

We all know Christmas cracker jokes are generally not funny. However, television channel Gold has come up with the top ten modern Christmas Cracker jokes. Can you do any better?

1) What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky.

2)Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.

3) Mary and Joseph - now they have a stable relationship.

4) What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.

5) What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.

6) Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.

7) How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.

8) Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.

9) How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed? You've got three extra hoes.

10) Why was the Brussel sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender.

Up to something unusual this Christmas? Email us with your pictures and news.

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